Fade Rift: Inbox

[keenly]

you know what to do

Comments

[keenly]

[weird, but all right.]

[sulahnan]

[ She peers at it studiously, as if reading his fortune...

then blows a raspberry on his palm. ]

[keenly]

[it works. he laughs.]

Another Dalish tradition?

[sulahnan]

Sure is.

[ She wipes his palm off with the fabric of her shirt and keeps one of his fingers hooked with one of hers, letting their limbs dangle like a bridge between their chairs. ]

If you don't talk to me about it, I'm gonna have to take drastic measures.

[keenly]

[a pause, then a huff of surrender.]

It’s just. Awkward. Because all he knows about me is pretty much just what he learned from reading the letter the Chantry sent to complain about me taking Lutair to trial. So besides the basics—I’m Fereldan, I’m a healer—he really just knows about the most painful, degrading and humiliating thing that ever happened to me. Sort of an awkward place to try to start a conversation from.

[sulahnan]

[ Athessa blows out a breath that puffs her cheeks. Yeah, she can see how that'd be awkward. ]

Yeah. If I didn't know Bastien I definitely would feel like that if all he knew about me was what happened with Devigny.

[ Which he does know, as Colin knows, but that isn't all he knows. She swings their hands back and forth a little. ]

So what's your worst case scenario, there? I can say with confidence that he's not likely to try and open with So, Colin, let's talk about the worst time of your life.

[keenly]

You’re, um. Wrong about that one.

[sulahnan]

Oh, shit, really?

[keenly]

Well, it was more, asking if I needed to talk about it. Same thing after I got captured, too. Seems like every time we talk, it’s because he feels sorry for me.

[sulahnan]

[ Oh, well that's a relief. ]

Ohhhh, okay. So it's more about being pitied, then?

[keenly]

Yeah. That, and it’s hard to talk to someone when they never talk about themself and you never talk about yourself. Usually people love talking about themselves.

[sulahnan]

[ She nods, sagely. ]

Right, right. I can let you in on the secret to getting Bastien to talk about himself, if that makes anything easier.

[keenly]

...Sure.

[sulahnan]

Ask him.

[ She grins. An overly simple answer, naturally. ]

[keenly]

[he deflates.]

Right. Of course.

[but talking is harrrrrrd.]

Maybe we need those spirits to come back. The ones that took us all to those awful dreams last winter. It was terrible, but it got some conversations out of the way.

[sulahnan]

[ A short bark of a laugh. ]

No thanks. I would still rather punch whatever spirits are responsible for all that.

[ Not only for the dreams that she shared with Colin, but with Bastien, and Deimos. She shakes her head. ]

It's easier to just talk to people.

[keenly]

For you.

[sulahnan]

[ Athessa let's out a fondly exasperated sigh and rests her head against the chair back, her withering glance ruined by her smile. ]

What's the worst that could happen? Specifically, with Bastien. Going through the rituals and stuff, [ She gestures with the journal. ] isn't gonna be any easier if you don't talk to him.

[ Especially with her being likely to say nothing for whole days at a time in the grieving process. ]

[keenly]

I could die?

[sulahnan]

From talking to him?? No.

[ Instead of a lazy swing of their hands, she gives the hold à little jostling shake. ]

I'm serious, Colin. It's important to me. Especially 'cos I'm not gonna be much for conversation while we're there; I don't want you to be miserable.

[keenly]

[He squeezes her hand.]

I know. You're right. I'll talk to him. Nothing bad could really happen, I just...yes. It won't be a problem.

[sulahnan]

I promise he doesn't think less of you for what he knows.

[ She hopes so, anyway. The sting of betrayal from the nightmare she shared with Bastien has lingered overlong, despite all reassurances. ]

He's always telling me that talking is good for me, that talking before I fall apart is important. But he understands when I tell him I don't want to. I'm sure he'd understand why you wouldn't want to talk, too.

[keenly]

He's right. I just. Don't like feeling like I'm nothing but a charity case for him.

Maybe I'd feel better if I did something for him in return. I could paint him something.

[sulahnan]

That's not a bad idea. I think maybe it'd also help if he knew more about you than that shit with Lutair. Obviously I don't think you're a charity case, or that he thinks you are, but if he doesn't know anything other than that...it's hard to make a very convincing argument to reassure you.

[ Apologetic. You're gonna have to talk about yourself, bud. ]

[keenly]

[If only people could be friends with you without knowing anything about you.]

He knows I had chickens when I was a kid, but that's...nothing. Giving him a painting would let him know it's something I like to do? Then we could talk about art, and things we like to do. I sound like I'm making a shopping list.