Fade Rift: Inbox

[keenly]

you know what to do

Comments

[sulahnan]

From talking to him?? No.

[ Instead of a lazy swing of their hands, she gives the hold à little jostling shake. ]

I'm serious, Colin. It's important to me. Especially 'cos I'm not gonna be much for conversation while we're there; I don't want you to be miserable.

[keenly]

[He squeezes her hand.]

I know. You're right. I'll talk to him. Nothing bad could really happen, I just...yes. It won't be a problem.

[sulahnan]

I promise he doesn't think less of you for what he knows.

[ She hopes so, anyway. The sting of betrayal from the nightmare she shared with Bastien has lingered overlong, despite all reassurances. ]

He's always telling me that talking is good for me, that talking before I fall apart is important. But he understands when I tell him I don't want to. I'm sure he'd understand why you wouldn't want to talk, too.

[keenly]

He's right. I just. Don't like feeling like I'm nothing but a charity case for him.

Maybe I'd feel better if I did something for him in return. I could paint him something.

[sulahnan]

That's not a bad idea. I think maybe it'd also help if he knew more about you than that shit with Lutair. Obviously I don't think you're a charity case, or that he thinks you are, but if he doesn't know anything other than that...it's hard to make a very convincing argument to reassure you.

[ Apologetic. You're gonna have to talk about yourself, bud. ]

[keenly]

[If only people could be friends with you without knowing anything about you.]

He knows I had chickens when I was a kid, but that's...nothing. Giving him a painting would let him know it's something I like to do? Then we could talk about art, and things we like to do. I sound like I'm making a shopping list.

[sulahnan]

I didn't know you had chickens...

[ Not the point, Athessa. ]

Anyway, yeah, that sounds fine, but you could also just ask him about art, or stories. Do you know about Black Fox?

[keenly]

No.

[sulahnan]

That's something to get him talking, then. He loves the Black Fox, they're stories of this like, gentleman thief. I haven't read any of them but I love hearing him talk about them.

[keenly]

I'll ask him about that, then. Um. Thanks for this, and sorry. It's probably at least as awkward as when I asked Sonia what you're supposed to do at a party.

[sulahnan]

[ There's a laugh that she's trying very hard to contain, which just means she grins not unlike a chipmunk. ]

You...you asked Sonia what people do at parties?

[keenly]

Yes. When do you think I would have learned about parties?

[sulahnan]

I dunno, maybe at Bastien's mandatory etiquette lessons last year? Or at any of the parties we have to attend on Riftwatch business? Books that feature them? When do you think I learned about parties?

[keenly]

You're different. You're, you're social. You pick up on that sort of thing. I get into a place like that and I just, I just don't feel...safe.

[sulahnan]

Yeah but I wasn't always as vivacious and charming as I am now.

[ She gives her own little hair-flip, which takes more effort than his because there's just so much of it. ]

Whaddya think would make you feel safer?

[keenly]

[He smiles. Her hair is so beautiful.]

Having someone else there helps, but I can't just...have a friend do my socializing for me. And sometimes it's more about being in a room full of people I can't keep track of. It scares me more than...almost anything.

[sulahnan]

Well, you can limit yourself to small parties of people you trust, then. Like dinner parties or somethin'. At least for now.

[keenly]

I can do that. [He looks thoughtful.] Actually, that might be perfect. Going to parties is terrifying because of all the people I don't know, and how many there are. Throwing something myself would be a good way to just...get my feet a bit wet. Have something smaller.

[sulahnan]

Yeah! And you can make it so it's just people you know at first, and then like, invite one person you don't know very well. Then two, later on.

[keenly]

To make it count as getting out of the house, maybe I could host something in the Gallows. Somewhere, in one of the million empty rooms.

[That way, Benedict could come...]

[sulahnan]

That's a great idea! I bet they'd let you use the kitchens to cook, too, no problem.

[keenly]

I love cooking for people. It's how I... [He makes a gesture from his chest to the air.] It's how I really show people I care about them. I mean, that's also my job, I love that about my job, but this is more, um, an art. It says the things I can't say any other way.

[sulahnan]

[ As he explains, Athessa props her chin up on her hand and smiles. If Colin could just talk like this to other people, he'd do fine. ]

You're such a good person, Col.

[keenly]

[He's not sure what he said that she liked, but something about his honesty made her like him more. Is that all it takes?]

Because I like to cook?

[sulahnan]

[ If anything, his confusion makes her grin wider. ]

Because you care about people enough to want to show it, which means more than just words. You enjoy cooking, and sharing that with people means they get to keep living another day, ya know?