[Colin's brows go up as she gropes his face, but he also makes sure to aim the joint toward her fingers. Courteously.]
Those're the people I resent most. The ones who know, and don't do anything. Uldred, Lutair, Devigny, those people are just...animals. It's the sort of creature they are, and you don't expect anything different. But when people see, and they know it's wrong, and they do nothing.
[ She hums her agreement, smoke blown out through her nose. ]
Why can't we have more people like the ones who...catch ladies' hats when they get blown off, or who chase after people when they forget their change at the shop, or...I dunno. Just nice people.
Nice people, yeah. [He might need to smoke elfroot more often. He knows how he feels, he still feels it after a fashion, but he's not distressed by it. His brow furrows.] Do you think we'd be trying to take down evil men if it weren't for our backgrounds? I mean, you would. You're like that.
Maybe I'm only like that because of my background. Maybe I'd be a really horrible person if my whole family hadn't died.
[ Even though this is the first time she's said died rather than disappeared, she doesn't have to struggle with the words. What she does struggle with, is trying not to laugh. Because how absurd. ]
You would be. You're brave. I'm pretty sure I'd just be keeping my head down, trying to survive like always. [This doesn't upset him, somehow. After a second, he gasps as he realizes why.]
It's like those spirits were telling us: this is the best version of us. Yeah?
[Mind. Blown. He reaches for the joint, though he's pretty sure he's going to fall asleep against her soon. He can't remember why he was trying to stay awake.]
I'm still gonna punch those spirits in the fuckin' face, [ She hands the joint back, and slips off of his shoulder to reach for the bedspread where it drapes off of the mattress. ] and if I can't punch 'em in the face I'll punch 'em right outta the Fade.
[ The blanket brings with it the two pillows, which suits her fine. All the better to make a little nest in front of the fire. ]
But I don't think you'd be able to be pushed into doing good if it wasn't already in you.
Mm. [ She settles down on a length of the bedspread after fluffing her own pillow, curling on her side next to him. ] 'Cos you feel it. Even when it isn't wrongness you've gone through, you still like...
[ Here she gestures to the center of her chest, some imaginary core. ]
[He settles on a pillow and remembers the days of living in a single room with his family, seven in all. There wasn't space for anyone to have their own bed except for their parents, so all five children slept on one large bed. Or was it smaller beds pushed together? He's not always sure anymore. But this reminds him of it, the trust and familiarity of company leading to an innocent co-sleeping.]
I guess we don't have to be heroes to be all right, [he sighs, eyes drifting shut.] Just...do what we can.
[ She's already out, having subsisted on one or two hours of sleep per night for the past few months. There have been few exceptions, of course, but being too exhausted to dream isn't something she can withstand every day. ]
[And he is out straight after her, cheek against her hair. Out so thoroughly, he is dead to the world for the next fifteen hours, sleeping right through the start of his apothecary hours. Anyone kept waiting by his oversleeping will find him dashing in mid-morning bright-eyed and alert and feeling better than he has since the grippe broke out.]
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[Another drag.]
The Templars shutting us in with them. It's people who aren't evil, but don't care enough, those are the ones I'm most scared of.
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Those people might as well be evil. It's like...they could do something but don't. They let it happen.
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Those're the people I resent most. The ones who know, and don't do anything. Uldred, Lutair, Devigny, those people are just...animals. It's the sort of creature they are, and you don't expect anything different. But when people see, and they know it's wrong, and they do nothing.
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Why can't we have more people like the ones who...catch ladies' hats when they get blown off, or who chase after people when they forget their change at the shop, or...I dunno. Just nice people.
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[ Even though this is the first time she's said died rather than disappeared, she doesn't have to struggle with the words. What she does struggle with, is trying not to laugh. Because how absurd. ]
There's no way we wouldn't be.
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It's like those spirits were telling us: this is the best version of us. Yeah?
[Mind. Blown. He reaches for the joint, though he's pretty sure he's going to fall asleep against her soon. He can't remember why he was trying to stay awake.]
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[ The blanket brings with it the two pillows, which suits her fine. All the better to make a little nest in front of the fire. ]
But I don't think you'd be able to be pushed into doing good if it wasn't already in you.
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[ Here she gestures to the center of her chest, some imaginary core. ]
You feel it in your soul.
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I guess we don't have to be heroes to be all right, [he sighs, eyes drifting shut.] Just...do what we can.
[An ear-splitting yawn before he goes still.]
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Right. Good is good enough.
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Good's good enough, [he agrees drowsily, one arm settling around her.]
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