keenly | Fade Rift: Inbox

[a quiet chuckle. He places his hands on her shoulders and looks her in the eye.]

Two things. First, I paid about ten copper for a man to sand it a bit and slap a new finish on, so you can tell Yseult you bought it back for twenty copper. It’ll let her know the exact value and importance of this mess and I hope she finds Leander’s complaints monetarily worthwhile.

Second, you need to be the one to tell him. All of this has been driving him mad since Leander rubbed his face in it. He needs to know it’s over.

[ She nods as he lays out the first item on this agenda, then looks up abruptly at the second. ]

What? Why do I have to tell him?

Besides that you’ll be the first one to know when the job is done? And we’re trying to limit the impression that we were working together on this at the behest of someone whose welfare we are trying to protect? And that you did throw it in the first place?

First and last on that list notwithstanding, wouldn't it be more suspicious if I go down and tell him about it when I'm the one who visits least often?

[ Not to mention the fact that she yelled at him last time she saw him... ]

If we're going to claim my non-involvement in this, how are we going to say I knew you found it?

I dunno, just...tell him I told you because I know you visit him a lot? If I go down there and tell him it'll look like I was doing it because he asked me to.

[ This time, she sighs and groans. Whining, really, just...petulant whining. ]

Fine. I'll figure something out.

[Whatever's going on, she definitely doesn't want to talk to Bene. No, Colin knows what's going on. Bene was rather trying to pick a fight with him about this, though Colin managed to talk him down. Athessa doesn't really seem to talk people down. Athessa has shit to prove, and so does Bene.]

You'll look like you turned the box in as you were told and apologized to the only truly injured party. [He nudges her elbow and discreetly removes the box from his coat, passing it to her.]

Take the rubbing before you turn it in, obviously.

Even though I let him believe that the box was gone forever?

[ Grumble mumble. She pockets the box. ]

Obviously. I'll get that to ya...whenever. After today.

[ Though she can't really muster the usual wattage of smile she generally wields, she quirks her mouth into a smirk and taps his arm with her fist. A simple "see ya later" gesture before she turns to leave. ]

[Colin is still in the apothecary whenever Athessa is finished with Yseult, staying late at work so he can learn of any updates. When she appears, he starts going about shutting everything down.]

Close the door behind you?

[ She does so. And then she approaches the counter and doubles over to rest her face on the surface of it, her arms draping over the far edge. Clearly, the meeting with Yseult went well. ]

[Colin frowns and moves to start gently rubbing her back.]

What happened?

[ She involuntarily tenses at the touch, which makes her feel somehow ashamed, because she knows it should be comforting, but--well. Whatever. Feelings are complicated. She mumbles something unintelligible against the counter before lifting her head and propping her face up in her hands, looking conflicted and miserable and confused, among other things. ]

I handed over the box. But...Yseult wasn't mad that I stole it, not really. More like disappointed.

[The hand is removed when she tenses. Colin switches to leaning against the counter and makes a sympathetic noise.]

That's worse.

Yeah...

[ She sighs and scrubs her hands over her face, then wrangles her mane of curls into a haphazard bun atop her head. For whatever reason, having anything touching her neck right now is just unacceptable. Makes her skin crawl, makes her want to run, is simply uncomfortable. Once that's done, she lays her hands flat on the table and drums her fingers idly. ]

I don't know what the fuck to say to Benedict. I don't know if I should even visit him anymore, because Yseult said I had to think about how things look. But--but then she said I was missing the point so...So I don't know.

[Colin goes very still for a few seconds. Just so he has something to do, his hands search to find an implement to fasten her hair and come up with a long pin he sometimes uses in his own. He's not sure it will work, as her hair is significantly thicker and curlier than his own, but he offers it. He sniffs, steels himself, and clears his throat.]

I can do it.

[He doesn't sound thrilled. He's not. There's some dread there, but if it's going to affect Athessa's standing in this place? Colin has a good reputation and can afford a few unfortunate rumors. Athessa needs to make good with Yseult.]

[ The pin works, inasmuch as anything ever does. Her hair is (as Deimos can attest) untamable at the best of times. So some stays up and some doesn't, but it's enough. ]

Why did this get so complicated? Other than me being a fucking moron who doesn't think things through. She said that it would be easy to implicate me as a traitor and a spy because of my involvement but then she didn't even... I mean she's setting me up with training.

I went in there expecting to get my wages docked at best and chucked in a cell at worst, I didn't expect training.

[ It makes it feel like she matters to the organization, which in turn makes her feel miserable for having been so laissez-faire about so many things up until now. Like she went from being a nobody with no effect on anything to somebody letting down her family. ]

Training is good. Training is better. [His look is still sympathetic.] I'm sorry this made things harder for you. I should have kept my mouth shut from the start. It's only been a burden on you both, and it wasn't even for the right reasons.

It was, though! [ Sudden fervor, followed by doubt. ] Wasn't it?

It's not like Benedict can just buy another one when he gets out. Leander can.

You did it for the right reasons. [Colin looks glum.] I was...I mean, I have visited him every day. I've brought him things to bathe with. I've extended every benefit of every doubt. And by fighting all these little battles on his behalf--which he never once asked me to do--I've held him back. And at first, it all was fine. I was afraid what he'd do to himself without me there. I didn't want him to be alone the way I was alone in the Circle. But a couple weeks ago I realized I'd started doing to convince him not to leave again.

[ At first, it's incomprehensible that Colin may have had different motivations than she. After all, he's the one who... Oh. Well he just told her the situation and she kind of developed her own reasons for doing what she did. ]

You didn't give him the benefit of the doubt, then. You don't trust him not to abandon you.

He's already done it once. [Colin shrugs.] Eventually, everyone does it.
It's not that they hate me, they just... Anyway. When he did it, it stung in a different way than it usually does.

[ She thinks she knows that sting. The way she felt when Ciara told her what they had wasn't real. Athessa frowns. ]

I'll tell him about the box.

[ She still doesn't know what she's going to say, but she'll figure it out. ]

He's never gonna like you as much as you like him unless he realizes he has to earn it.

[eyes widen briefly and he gives her a glance before sighing.]

I didn’t think he ever would like me. I would have just settled for him needing me. Once I realized that? I haven’t seen him since. That was weeks ago. I can’t carry him anymore. Doing so has been a great disservice to us both. If he asks for me, I’ll see him, but he needs to learn to act on his own instead of waiting for someone to give him whatever he wants.

[ Looking at him, she nods. Good. It's good that he knows already. ]

It's better to be wanted than needed, anyway.

[ Nods again. Like that's that. She presses her lips together in a tight smile and pats his cheek. ]

I'll bring you the rubbing of the dumb box later. And your pin. Don't really feel like having my hair down for a bit.

[A gentle nod. Before she goes, he speaks suddenly.]

When you said 'like you as much as you like him,' you meant...?

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sulahnan - 2020-01-06 16:24 (UTC) - Expand

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keenly - 2020-01-06 16:25 (UTC) - Expand